How to Write an Obituary

Writing an obituary will always be a part of our lives since there is nothing more certain in life than taxes and death.

That's why you can build professional obit writing into one of your “multiple streams of income”.

If you're writing this type of copy after someone you know, it can no doubt be a very painful assignment.

However, you can also honor that person by writing your obituary as a tribute to a life lived well.

Here are the important points to remember when you're writing an obit:

Main Components of an Obituary

ANNOUNCEMENT: The name and residence of the person who died. Time, place and cause of death.

BIOGRAPHICAL BACKGROUND: Birthplace, family, education, religion, occupation, jobs, positions, club memberships, medals and awards, military service, special pets, certificates, charitable work, hobbies, interests, disappointments, marriage, kids, etc. of the deceased.

SURVIVORS: Names of family members who survived the deceased.

SERVICE DETAILS: Date, time, place where the funeral/interment/viewing services will be held. Driving directions, of you have enough space. Information about vigils and other memorial services, if any. Contact information (phone, email, web URL).

END: A humorous quotation or anecdote bringing live the character, life achievements, and personality of the deceased. Suggestions for memorial donations. Thank you's to family members, colleagues, organizations and any other pertinent third parties.

This is a sensitive time when you have to be careful not to leave any family members out of the picture.

When listing the all-important SURVIVORS make sure to include the following:

Do not by mistake say that the deceased will “lie in state” since that is proper only for the heads of states.

Also, skip “in lieu of flowers” language. People do not talk like that anymore. Just say “Instead of sending flowers, please feel free to send your charitable contribution to...”

CAUTION: Improper Adjectives

It's generally safe to stick to the basic Noun-Verb format when you're writing the obit since some adjectives may create problems for the survivors.

For example, if you call the deceased “charitable” and some survivors happen to hold a secret grudge for his miserly or spendthrift ways, you'll create a conflict at a critical time when none is needed. By limiting yourself to the facts, you can prevent that.

3-Words Method

Before writing anything else, read all you can about the deceased and talk to as many of his or her relatives as time would allow. Then think about three words that would sum up the deceased's life truthfully.

For example, can you say that the deceased was a PATRIARCH? Was he at the head of a large family who depended on him in every way?

Was he a SAILOR? Was sailing his consuming passion, an important part of who he was, and perhaps even his main source of income in life?



Was she a HAPPY person? Was she a sunny-side-up woman that people loved for her perpetual smile and outrageous sense of humor?

Was she a WARRIOR, the decorated veteran of three wars, a disciplinarian and a born-soldier?

Was he a down-on-his-luck PRISON INMATE most of his life (for whom you might prefer the term INCARCERATED)?

Find those three words that summarize a life and then build your copy around them.

If for example the deceased was a MISCHIEVOUS person, mention in the obituary some of the harmless pranks he pulled. Include a funny quote about such people. And in general try to maintain a light touch throughout the obit to echo the character of the deceased.

If, on the other hand, the deceased was sick most of her life and died from a terminal disease, maintain a respectful tone and show empathy and compassion throughout the obituary for what the deceased had to endure while she was alive.

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